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Basic Burgers and Glittery Gays
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We start our tour at the southwest corner of Santa Monica Boulevard and Robertson, for 30 years now the home of Hamburger Haven. It’s your last chance on this trip at a meal for under $5. Kraut Dog? Naked Burger? If you’re looking for something solid and cheap to soak up the alcohol after a night of drinking, Hamburger Haven is it. It’s open from 7 a.m. to midnight Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. to 2 a.m. Saturdays and 11 a.m. to 2 a.m. Sundays. Most of the seating is under a canopy outside, with plenty of opportunity to watch the world walk by.
A few hundred feet from Hamburger Haven, and more than twice as expensive, is Bossa Nova Brazilian Grill, offering a taste of Rio with fried plantains and grilled beef (albeit from Omaha and not the Argentine Pampas). It’s reasonably priced, with grilled chicken at $12 and grilled steak at $17. Bossa Nova is open from 11 a.m., closing Mondays through Thursdays at 11:30 p.m., Fridays and Saturdays at 3:30 a.m. and Sundays at midnight.
Now wander across the street and head a few feet north to Here Lounge, your next-to-last real gay experience as you leave Boystown. (Texts at 1 a.m. — “Where are you?” “Here.” “Where?” “Here.” “Stop it. Where are you?” “Here!” “Ugh, I guess I’ll just stay in tonight if you won’t tell me where you are!” “I’m at Here!” Thanks to John W at Yelp! ) Tucked behind the now-closed Java Detour on the southeast corner of Santa Monica and Robertson, Here offers dancing and drinking, “Stripper Circus” (Wednesdays), “Truck Stop Girlz” for a lesbian crowd (Fridays), “Hooker Casino” (Saturdays), “Size Sundays” (uh, Sundays); you get the idea. It’s open until 2 a.m. nightly.
Next door is the Abbey, which David Cooley has grown in a little more than 15 years from a small coffeehouse into one of West Hollywood’s (and arguably the country’s) best known gay bars. It’s where you’ll find the three “D’s” of Boystown life: Dining, Drinking and Dancing (Drugs, however, are strongly discouraged). Today it attracts a crowd beyond its gay core audience and has developed a reputation for its celebrity patrons (the late Elizabeth Taylor used to drop by, unannounced, for a drink). It even draws a few straight guys who say it’s a great place to score with a girl without the competition you’ll find around the bar at Laurel Hardware. While there’s a large dance floor and two bars, the Abbey is about more than nightlife. Open 9 a.m. to 2 a.m. every day, it attracts a substantial crowd for weekend brunch and weekday lunches and dinners. You should note that the Abbey is the last truly gay refuge on your trip down the southwest side of Robertson. Now owned by SBE, a major proprietor of Los Angeles nightclubs and restaurants, the Abbey has been angling to expand to other cities such as Chicago, MiamiBeach, Atlanta, San Francisco, Dallas, Las Vegas and Phoenix.
