Coming To, Coming In and Coming Out in West Hollywood.

It’s hard to believe we are in the year 2026. My life in West Hollywood began over 40 years ago.

It was the spring of 1984 when I made my first trip to California. My friend Greg was attending UCLA and asked me to be the best man at his wedding. I’d fly to LA for the engagement party to meet his fiance, Andrea, and the family at The Ivy Restaurant on Robertson Blvd. After we left, he drove his convertible up San Vicente and stopped at the red light at the intersection of San Vicente @ Santa Monica. I looked up at the mountains in awe.

Greg made a left and a right and parked on a street called Hilldale. He said, “Let’s grab a drink.” We walked into this place called Rage and went to the bar. I looked around and said, “Greg, there are all guys in here?” He leaned over and kissed me and said, “I’m bisexual.” I was shocked and got really wierd and left the bar.

There were no cell phones in 1984.  There were phone booths.  I found a public telephone on Hilldale to call Joanne. At that point, I thought Joanne was my soulmate. I told her the story, “and then he kissed me” she asked, “Are you crying?”  I was silent and she followed, “Are you gay?” After that moment nothing was ever the same.

It took a year or two. I was afraid to “come out” in NY. I’d get a pad on Wilshire Blvd. and fly to LA to explore a secret life. My first friend in LA was Frank, who lived on Edinburgh Ave. in West Hollywood. He knew I was ripe for my first experience. He took me to Revolver, and I left with a guy for the first time . I was too scared to take him to my place so we walked to West Hollywood Park and shot hoops at 2 a.m. We played in the car, and I drove him home to the USC campus.  When I dropped him off everything was different.  There were sparkles.  It felt like a load off my shoulders and that had found myself.  But I’d have to go back to New York the next day.

The next time I came back to LA, Frank took me to a show at the Rose Tattoo, a small lounge bar located under Studio One (The Factory). A neighbor of Frank’s came over and asked me on a date. The first date, a drive-in movie in the Valley, the second date was the finals of “Dance Fever.” I sat in the audience to watch this golden boy, Ron, win the season finale. I was in love. But I needed to return to my stores in New York and face my straight life. I’d call Ron upon arrival and ask him to move to New York.  He boarded a plane two days later . When I finally came out to my family, it was like a scene out of Heated Rivalry.

Some thought we were friends. Joanne knew the truth and that she and I were not getting married. Ron and I would open a shop, American Male, on the corner of 83rd and Broadway in Manhattan.  There is Ron, toasting all, and Joanne at the grand opening of the New York shop.

Joanne would beg me to come to her mom’s house in Oceanside, Long Island for the Yom Kippur holiday. I kept saying no, “you told your mother I’m gay-” She insisted on coming to NYC to pick me up. On the way into New York she was killed in a car accident on the George Washington Bridge. At the funeral her mother had a breakdown as they lowered her casket into the ground “she died because of you, she died because of you.” her mother cried outloud.  Coming out had its consequences. I would never be the same.    

The crime on the streets of New York was crazy. Hoodlums would come up the subway and run into the shop and grab the Guess? Jeans and run out the door. Ron was a black belt and was able to fly over the counter and pin them down. He would pin those dudes down on the ground and call the cops.  They would beg for mercy. Ive got 30 other photos like the ones above. Then one day he said,  “lets get the fuck out of New York, I want to go back to LA.” He went first and we would open a shop on Santa Monica Blvd.   

We went in big, taking the former Shatsky & Shapiro and the Beauty Barn next door and broke down the wall to combine the two. Welcome to Oscar’s Wilde. It was the biggest gay store in the city of West Hollywood. Today it’s Bottega Louie.   

Oscars Wilde was one of a kind. Ron’s dance partner was from the UK. Sally was the original Rumpleteazer in the first production of ‘Cats’. But she needed a green card to stay in the United States and dance. We would get 4 rings and tumble down the aisle in a Las Vegas wedding Chapel.  Ron, his two dance partners, Morgan on left, and Sally on right and myself.  We got married by electricity, all holding hands and repeating the vows out loud.   

Sally’s mom and dad would come to visit. They had a circus act in the UK. We put a tightrope, a real tightrope in the front window of Oscar’s Wilde for them to practice.  Later, Sally’s dad Brian would get the nod to bring the Cirque du Soleil show to Vegas. Sally’s dad Brian was the nose on the original production of ‘Mystere’.  Her dad and mom would head up the Cirque du Soleil company.   It had its root right here in West Hollywood, at Oscars Wilde.   They all practiced at Oscar’s.  Years later I would visit Las Vegas during a MAGIC trade show, taking the Sears and Fred Meyer buyers. As the lights went down and the klieg lights shuffled the audience, “Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to Le Cirque du Soleil.”  “Tonight we have a very special guest in the audience” and stopped on me saying my name.  I was totally embarrassed.  They said it was a first.   

WeHo’s Halloweens were much smaller.  The City would close the middle of the street when it started to get bigger. In the early years, the sidewalks were the runways.  The party was on the sidewalks and inside the bars. Rage, Motherlode, Studio One, Four Star, Revolver, Circus, Catch. We would host a Halloween photo shoot in the store – there was no Carnaval.    The Carnaval was inside Oscar’s Wilde. 

Our dog Kokee was also a town favorite. Across the street, the old Haagan Daz ice cream shop was destroyed by a fire and sat empty for a year.  We would take the shop and open the town hangout.  “Kokee’s Frozen People Treats.”   Today it’s the Bayou. 

I’d open two more shops in and around WeHo. There was Bulls Eye — , today its Giuseppe’s Tacos.  But gave that store to an employee and took a job as the Western Regional Sales Manager for Everlast. Being gay in that field of sports, and sports buying, I was still in the closet criss-crossing the country.   I’d often play straight telling the buyers about Joanne, but not Ron.  Years later we opened the YMLA flagship at the Beverly Center.   

After the founding of YMLA in 1991 was an incredible period.  YMLA was a small gay brand that went national.  Shirley Fong, my partner would giggle when we asked to make these skimpy hot shorts. But the International Male catalog gave us our opening order and six months later the Rob Grey hot short was the biggest selling item in Undergear catalog history.  

The Rob Grey Hot Short was named after a control buyer who eventually became the President of the company. We rode a wave. The guys around WeHo all became our models. The fashions around the globe influenced by string tanks at Gold’s or Athletic Club. The two Chinese ladies who I met on a handshake asked me to marry them. Eventually one parted and left just Shirley and I. We would grow together for a dozen years, a quarter of a billion dollars, then 9/11. The boats headed for Penneys, Kohls and Sears all got stuck in the port. We were in trouble and forced to sell.    

It wasn’t till I lost my vision in 2009 that retail came back into my life.  The Different Light Bookstore was standing empty for almost a year. We closed our downtown office and The BlockParty was born.   And for the past many years I’ve worn the badge of ‘the gayest store on earth’ quite proudly.  

One day, if I get the courage, I’ll tell the story of how the HIV/AIDS epidemic weaved into these times. All the people mentioned in this article except for Ron and Sally are dead. 

I’ve been on Santa Monica Blvd. a long time, and I have so much love for West Hollywood.   Things have changed on the street.  It’s not as safe to go to work these days.   But, I’ve got lots of great memories. 

Thank You, WeHo.