To Whom It May Concern at City Hall,
I am writing to express my profound disappointment at the complete and utter lack of delays on La Cienega Boulevard this morning.
Your sign — bold, orange, and unwavering — explicitly stated:
“ROAD WORK TOMORROW. EXPECT DELAYS.”
And I did.
I believed in that sign.
I rearranged my schedule. I brought a thermos. I packed trail mix. I downloaded a 90-minute podcast on urban planning. I was ready to wait.
But what did I get?
Nothing but smooth flow.
Green light after green light. A glide. A betrayal.
This level of unexpected efficiency is not only misleading — it’s emotionally destabilizing. I pride myself on being a planner. A preparer. A person who expects delays when instructed to do so.
To be clear: this is not a request for construction. It’s a plea for narrative consistency.
If you’re going to promise chaos, then deliver. Or don’t post the sign.
But don’t toy with our hearts like this.
Please rectify immediately.
Yours in civic disorientation,
A Taxpayer and Delay Enthusiast
