What Happens at The Abbey Stays There No Longer

The latest reality television show set in West Hollywood is about to air (and no, this isn’t the one about our City Council, which was still in the works as of a few weeks ago.)

E! Entertainment has released a trailer for “What Happens at The Abbey,” a reference to the slogan “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” (which isn’t true in tiny WeHo).

“Presiding over one of the wildest nightclubs in Los Angeles, the team unapologetically embodies the open-minded mentality of The Abbey while fostering an environment of acceptance,” says an announcement of the show from E!. “Managed by owner David Cooley, the staff juggles delivering first-rate service to their VIP guests and celebrities while dealing with relationship drama, diverse sexuality and the pursuit of their own Hollywood dreams.”

In the trailer, Marissa Chykirda, a server from Long Island, puts it more bluntly: “The Abbey is absolutely a soap opera, which basically means there is a lot of fighting and a lot of f-cking.” (Just in case you wondered, this video is NSFW.)

Based on the trailer, The Abbey’s show looks likely to explore the variety of its clientele, something that the traditional gay crowd once lamented, wanting to see only men around them.

For example, a server, Elizabeth Steinler, announces that she’s a lesbian. In the trailer she’s attracted to a straight girl. Another employee gives some advice: “When a lesbian gets in love with a straight girl, it never ends well.”

Marissa also becomes attracted to a bartender, Kyle Clarke, who confesses he’s never really chased girls, but Marissa just might be the exception. Stay tuned to see where that is going.

The show puts The Abbey’s David Cooley in a bit of competition with Lisa Vanderpump, the “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” star who owns P.U.M.P. next door to The Abbey and its relatively new adjunct, The Chapel. P.U.M.P. has tried to market itself to the gay crowd. Vanderpump also has her own reality show, “Vanderpump Rules,” featuring the staff of Sur, her restaurant on Robertson Boulevard a few hundred feet away from The Abbey

Here’s an introduction to the staff and performers:

“The Abbey is the only place in the world where a lesbian and a straight woman fight to be a gay man’s baby mama.”
— Billy Reilich, VIP server: The small-town boy from Ohio and resident “muscle boy next door” is also best known as “Nick the Gardener” of The Ellen Show.

“Yeah I’m pissed. Don’t freaking tell me that you are into me and then you go and hook up with another girl in front of me. It’s really disrespectful.”
— Marissa Chykirda, server: The new girl, straight out of Long Island. She’s unintentionally become a player whisperer by taming Kyle.

“It’s pizza, it’s not going to be the greatest thing you’ve ever eaten but if you want it, you could probably have it at your house in under 30 minutes.”
— Kyle Clarke, bartender: The bad boy who has graced the cover of more than 50 fitness magazines and saves women’s numbers in his phone with the pizza emoji.

“It’s not black and white here at The Abbey. It’s very grey, and it’s very messy.”
— Elizabeth Steinle, server: A self-proclaimed gold star lesbian, she’s opinionated, strong and no stranger to conflict.

“Technically my psychic told me not to date anyone for three (to) six months because I tend to gravitate toward douchebags.”
— Kim Senser, bartender: A hopeless romantic who looks for love in all the wrong places. There’s one place she has not yet looked…her lesbian best friend.

“It’s like the best night of your life, that you will never remember.”
— Murray Swanby, VIP host: West Hollywood’s biggest playboy (and he’s dating fellow colleague Cory), he knows everyone in town and is always the life of the party.

“I have never had such low self esteem since I started dating this man.”
— Cory Zwierzynski, bartender: Sweet but has a short fuse as current boyfriend Murray makes him feel insecure flirting with other guys right in his face.

“Growing up I dated girls that looked like boys and boys that looked like girls.”
— Brandi Andrews, VIP host: Ultra sassy and intimidating, she’s a lesbian in pursuit to have a child with her colleague Lawrence. It’s their perfect arrangement for a modern family.

“We’ve decided to have a baby together. We aren’t pregnant yet, but we’re going to embark on this journey pretty soon.”
— Lawrence Carroll, VIP host: Ready to start a family with Brandi, he faces the reality of fertility tests, various relationship struggles and the most emotional of them all, revealing to his family that he is ready to become a father.

“Sometimes I think, damn I’d really love to have this girl’s life but then I remember she’s not necessarily the sharpest tool in the shed.”
— Chelsea Jeffers, management trainee: Blurring her personal and professional life, she dreams of becoming a nightclub mogul. She governs with sass and her strict high standards.

“I’m worth a lot of money, so it takes a lot to get this shirt off.”
— Daniel Eid, server: The ultimate comic relief, he is the self-proclaimed “best server at The Abbey.” A quirky personality and cocky attitude make the perfect recipe for the “Zoolander” server.

“What happens at The Abbey” will air beginning May 14 on E! on Sundays at 10 p.m. The show is produced by Banijay Studios North America with David Goldberg, Caroline Baumgard, Ray Giuliani and David Cooley as executive producers.